Of Chimps And Men

Ladies and gentlemen introducing a room full of monkeys! That's right folks I speaking about a full cornucopia of debacles that really demonstrate the full blown idiocy of our times steaming directly from one event. This is not just stupidity, nor even stupidity squared, this is stupidity squared to the x where x is a continuous increasing integer that increases every second! All of this lunacy in particular concerns a bunch of apes. From attacks to cartoons, this has been a perfect example in lite of all that is wrong with our current society.

First, so as to keep things orderly, let us list the stupid and then tackle each on of their failures one by one in the order they failed.
The Owners of the chimpanzee, Travis.
Al Sharpton and the whole race card playing cadre
News media, in particular, Washington Post example.
Legislature

To begin with, I start with the owners of Travis because their story is truly tragic and despite the extremely visible and horrible reminders of their folly, these folks easily take the place of being the least foolish members of this entire situation. They should have the ability to raise a chimpanzee and it is completely understandable to begin to trust a pet, a very intelligent one at that, when it has been such a wonderful companion for so long. What the owners seemed to lose sight of is that they essentially had a 200 pd immensely strong 6 year old. If a six year old gets extremely frightened and lashes out ( don't bullshit me, remember any playground, they do) they do not act like most adult humans and restrain themselves. However, they also can not do much damage, so it is pretty much inconsequential. Story changes quite a bit when that 6 year old is strong enough to tear the arms off of a full fledged adult human.

Now, I'm not going to say that "Wild animals act Wild". This is pure ignorant drivel, for every creature acts "wild" from time to time. ESPECIALLY humans. Good God it does not take much more than a glance at the current news to realize this truth. The fact is, when people or animals are frightened, the potential for bad shit to happen increases exponentially.

So in effect, the owners of Travis only folly was that they had become entirely too complacent and did not have an effective plan in case their stead became violent. That's it and for their folly they will feel the effects for the rest of their lives. My heart goes out to them. But really, aside from the fact that it was a chimpanzee and not a human, there is not much of a difference here than between the also tragically common domestic violence that occurs from children, particularly teens who lash out because their environment, for absolute need for perfect understanding, sucks complete unwashed stanky balls.

Now though marches in, like the platoon of pompous dipshits, they are the legion of observers and press releases spewing retardation to the ever so mind numbingly barely attentive masses, which leads to the 2nd part of this debacle, a cartoon. If you have not heard, Robert Murdoch put to paper a cartoon showing a shot to death chimp and a cop uttering "They'll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill." This has been decided by Al Sharpton, and other individuals who stand only to personally gain from inciting racial tension and hatred, that the chimp is Obama and this is a racist cartoon.

I would also like to mention at this point that it seems that other news outlets like to inflate this issues, tremendously. Partly because of indoctrination, and partly because they love to wound their competitors. I also view Al Sharpton and his ilk as but symptoms of a particular type of social meme plague, much like having your face rot off in a few days might signify that you have Ebola and should be checked.

Murdoch, understandably so, has apologized quick and stepped back, not wanting to come under any more public fire. I do not blame him, for reason simply ceases to exist when one can exact social and perhaps legal punishment just because they feel offended.

Regardless, it has been thus decreed that this cartoon is racist by the Revered Al Sharpton because obviously the chimp is Obama. Since the cartoon is referring to the stimulus and only Obama has EVER pushed for stimulus and being referred to as monkeys was a common racist tactic against ONLY African-Americans (never you mind the Irish, Asians, bona fide mentally handicapped, and car mechanics) .

Never mind that the chimp could represent the actual writers of the bill, or represent members of congress as a whole, or could possibly be a throwback to the old canard "565 monkeys typing away will eventually create the works of Shakespeare, or the current stimulus package."

Never mind that the artist, editors and who knows how many other people saw this before it went to print and if they had noticed anything racist about it then they would of stopped it from printing faster than I can say, (I called the election back in April '08, bitches). All major media outlets and the vast majority of smaller media outlets avoid that which can be perceived as racist like the plague. It is only bad news to be construed as being racist.

The third and final clencher of this idiocy comes straight to us from the Washington Post where it is stated, and I paraphrase, that the intention was not racism, but "no one should be dehumanized" in such a manner. So, racism aside, and assuming the chimp is Obama, because obviously only he has ever pushed a stimulus (please see one fucking year ago) Heaven FORBID Obama be smeared in such a way. Because that IS truly what she (the writer of the Washington Post article) is saying. How do I know that? How could I possibly know that her plea to stop dehumanizing humans is pure trash and is really a defense of Obama? Oh, that's because I happen to not have the memory of a goldfish and recall a certain other president who was CONSTANTLY portrayed as a chimp and also passed a stimulus package that was just as retarded! In fact, it became a joke for eight years running! Hmmm? Now who the Hell could that be?

To say that I don't like Bush would be like saying that a bullet to the face could have adverse side affects, but do you know what I really hate? Hypocrisy. Blatant, balls to the wall, hypocrisy. As far as I am concerned, and as far as all their actions have ever really told, they are both, Bush and Obama, stupid, socialist tyrants. But I'll step right up and say, do NOT bullshit me or anyone else that "people should not be dehumanized" now that OBAMA might be caught being made the butt of someone's joke. Bush was dehumanized for eight years running in the eyes of all but imperialists and rednecks, and you said NOTHING. Now that something can maybe, kind of, possibly, perhaps be linked to making fun of Obama and suddenly you pitch a bitch. Grow some damn principles you contemptible guttersnipes.

As an aside, I also did not find the cartoon funny. I feel like the travesty of Travis's death is far more heart wrenching than the sick joke that is our government doing the same exact actions that have gutted every single other nation that has attempted them in the past and clapping each other on the back for their insight and genius.

All of this though, no matter how stupid, and how damaging the effects of it can be, do not compare to the final act in all this. The greatest and most far reaching idiocy of this whole debacle. Congress has now passed law that limits people from keeping Chimpanzees as pets. You may be confused by this choice, but it requires the long view, so bear with me for a second.

First, do not look me in the web page and state that this does not completely ban chimp ownership, just regulates them more. I do not even have to look up the specifics to know without a shadow of a doubt that Chimpanzee ownership is already regulated by at least the Feds, if not the states. Those so called regulators FAILED, and they will be the same people exacting now more onerous and arbitrary rules in the future. They will continue to FAIL, just in whole new ways in addition to the old. That's what bureaucrats are good for. FAILING, and then getting a raise.

2nd, Despite the tragedy of it all, one lady getting mauled by a chimp is not cause for a law that keeps people from keeping them as pets. Sorry, not even close. If a hurt person was all it took for a ban or extreme regulation then sit back and do nothing because EVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE CAN KILL YOU RIGHT NOW. What? It has to others before. You should petition your Congress to ban it right now. Right away in fact. Here?s why Congress passed this law, and it has nothing to do with wanting to keep people from being harmed, laws do not stop that. Politicians suffer from an innate desire to jump to the front of a parade and make as if they were leading the whole time. This was big news and it makes them look like they are doing something, and to top it off the only people this law will visibly harm are an extremely small minority who no one is going to listen to when they complain about the inevitable unjustifiable actions that will be carried out in the name of this law.

The third reason why this is brainless beyond all belief for American society (I?ll admit it can be seen as smart as a political maneuver, which should indicate to you about the real benefit of all this politicking) is that it serves to limit entrepreneurs in but one more way. Instead of being able to take from this the lesson of carry a tranquilizer gun next time, or come up with an even better way of stopping such events, people will now be inhibited to the point of uselessness when it comes to owning a chimpanzee. Good bye to innovation, intelligence, and actual effective regulation while also achieving goals in this minor market. Nope, consider this market dead, but it?s ok because it doesn?t affect that many people, right?

Keep saying that next time as you grill some hamburgers, or sizzle some bacon. There was a time in our history, relatively recent in the scheme of things, when eaten by a pig was one of the most likely reasons for infant mortality. Long before that, Cattle are largely believed to be derived from Aurochs; great giant beasts that would flatten whole villages. It is because of the efforts of many people, some who made good decisions, and some who made bad ones resulting in themselves or loved ones being harmed or even killed that we have most of the products that we have today. The world is about trial and error at every step and is the only way as whole to actually make progress. To remove the opportunity because you do not think others should take on the danger is not safety, it is stagnation. Stagnation in a world as dynamic as ours equals impoverishment and often death, which is not really safe at all.

"To Protect Fools from their Folly is to Fill the World with Fools"

This is just one more step in that direction, and we?re already quite a ways down that road. So in conclusion, I reiterate my previous statement in fuller context. Washington is comprised of little more than a legion of monkeys throwing shit all over Amerika. Now I'm going to go play with my parrot and hope he refrains from biting my face off. Whilst consuming a homemade cheeseburger. Delicious.

Communication Meltdown: They Started IT!

Economic Destruction-----------Stimulus!